Men Must Have

Piranha 3DD has released a new pair of posters promoting the horror sequel’s schlocky wares, and they’ve got us ruing afresh that the film has been unable to negotiate a UK release.

Whilst director John Gulager has reassured US audiences that the film will reach Stateside cinemas, the UK plan is for the film to be released direct to DVD.

Now while the original was no masterpiece, it was a dopily enjoyable slice of Friday night fun. Throw in the involvement of Gary Busey and David Hasselhoff, and the sequel sounds too ridiculous to miss!

The new posters trade heavily on that trashy reputation, although surprisingly, the amount of boobage on display is remarkably restrained. The fish are the stars of the show here, and once again, they look suitably fiendish.

We particularly like the Jaws-aping effort featuring a blissfully unaware swimmer. Plus, that tagline is also a bit of a winner: “Double the action. Double the terror. Double the Ds.” They don’t write ’em like that any more…

UK audiences can catch the film when it’s released on DVD on 19 March 2012.

Orlando Bloom has starred in a few duds since leaving the Pirates Of The Caribbean franchise (The Three Musketeers anyone?), but he may have a promising new project in the form of Jerome Salle’s adaptation of Caryl Férey’s novel, Zulu.

Not to be confused with the Michael Caine classic, Zulu is set in post-apartheid South Africa, the story revolves around the Cape Town police department being thrust into the spotlight when an 18-year-old girl is murdered.

The media attention stems from the fact that the victim was the daughter of one of the players from the Championship-winning Springboks rugby team.

Djimon Hounsou (Gladiator, Blood Diamond) is also on board, playing the chief of the homicide branch where Bloom’s officer is situated.

The script promises to delve into a murky world of narcotics and gang culture, touching on the lasting effects of apartheid. The project will certainly come as a relief to Salle, who’ll look to distance himself from the disastrous remake of his film, Anthony Zimmer that came in the form of The Tourist.

There’s no word on a release date yet, but expect it to arrive at some point next year.

A Thousand Words is the new film from Eddie Murphy. You might recall us putting the boot into the trailer at the end of last year. Well the first poster has arrived online, and it’s not exactly filling us with confidence.

Boasting the kind of hotch-potch layout that suggests it was knocked together by the work experience kid, the new one-sheet shows Eddie in a variety of “humorous” situations, whilst a larger image of the star is photoshopped into the foreground.

The film follows the adventures of Murphy’s fast-talking ad-man, who becomes spiritually embroiled with a magical tree. Somehow this arrangement leaves him with just 1,000 words left to speak before he loses his voice entirely.

Cue much frenzied mugging and physical horseplay as Murphy attempts to get around his newfound predicament. If you liked Liar Liar, but thought the central premise was a little too rich in comedic potential, this could well be the film for you.

A Thousand Words opens in UK cinemas on 6 April 2012. The countdown starts here!

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Slick young Josh Widdicombe received a Foster’s Edinburgh Comedy Award nomination for Best Newcomer for this show. Friendly observations.

Veteran improvisers Dylan Emery, Phil Whelans, Cariad Lloyd and weekly guests put on an hour and a half of sketches, skits and songs, all made up on the spot, all inspired by audience suggestions. Simply marvellous.

Tonight’s line-up at the world famous Comedy Store includes MC Mickey Hutton, Simon Evans, Dave Fulton, Curtis Walker and John Lynn plus open spots.
Check out our guide to the Comedy Store at www.timeout.com/comedy-store

Following sell-out Soho Theatre and Edinburgh Fringe runs, this superb American duo transfer their latest fast-paced show to the West End. Featuring a sublime combination of stand-up, sketch and physical theatre, the…

The US comedy giant says ‘farewell’ to Britain with his last ever UK dates. The 75 year old has been in the business for 50 years and is a master of joke-telling. This show will even include Jackie’s daily updates on the…

Supremely silly character comic Adam Riches deservedly won the Edinburgh Comedy Award for this masterfully crafted hour of audience interaction-based lunacy. Riches plays wonderfully observed, hysterically funny characters…

Frankenweenie, the new stop-motion animation from Tim Burton, has received a first official poster and it’s every bit as charmingly gothic as we had hoped.

The poster shows a tombstone bearing the moniker “Sparky”, but wait a minute… isn’t that Sparky the dog peeking out from behind it?

Well yes it is, because the film will tell the story of a pet pooch brought back from the dead by a scientifically minded little boy. Naturally, he’s not quite the same as when he left, but still, at least he’s back! Sort of…

We like the grimly humorous tone on display here, from the cross made of bones to the little doggy face carved onto the tombstone. If this can recapture the magic and malice of Burton-created classic The Nightmare Before Christmas, we could be in for a real treat.

Boasting voice work from the likes of Winona Ryder and Catherine O’Hara, Frankenweenie opens in the UK on 5 October 2012. Don’t tell the RSPCA.